Sunday, December 15, 2013

What's going on in downtown Chicago?

Here are a few things that you probably weren't aware of....

On November 26, 2013, around 8:15 p.m., a robbery was reported at the Jackson CTA Red Line stop, 230 South State Street.

According to a credible source, a black male offender violently shoved a female passenger and forcibly took her iPhone.

The thief, who was described as tall and last seen wearing a dark-colored hoodie and a winter coat, fled the scene southbound through the subway.

It appears the mugger is still at large.

On December 1st, two separate incidents were reported at two different downtown-area eateries.

The first caper went down at the Dunkin Donuts at 600 South Wabash.

According to authorities, at approximately 4:55 p.m., a white male robber stole $100 from the store's register.

The thief was last seen running westbound toward State Street.

It's unclear if a weapon was used in the robbery.

Nearly an hour later, "a large group of black gangbangers" chased a terrorfied couple into the McDonald's at 230 South State, near State and Jackson, according to an unconfirmed report.

Our informant says a black male with dreadlocks, wearing a red coat, threatened to harm the couple.

No further details were provided regarding this alleged incident.

On the lighter side of news, a man said to be "looking for love," raised a clerk's suspicion at a Near North Side adult bookstore.

On December 10th, around 4:30 p.m., police were called to Frenchy's, 872 North State Street.

Based on the information provided, a black, homeless man - smoking a cigarette - was pacing back and forth and refusing to leave the store.

A responding officer said the man was "just looking for love."

When cops arrived approximately 3 minutes later, the allegedly horny suspect was in the wind.

6 comments:

  1. All black ...how shocking!

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  2. welcome back Tim, you dumb sack of shit. glad to see your award winning journalism is still top notch

    ReplyDelete
  3. The Harold Washingon Library and nearby, this McDonald's has long been a black hobo masturbatorium and of course the drug dealers that supply their crack and "herron" will be nearby, why not get in a few Iphone snatchings and "getting back at whiteyz" incidents while they're at it?
    Near the center of the grid one fine day last month I noted a glut of darkies congregating, salivating at all the suburban cracker-ass shoppers and all the gibs they could steal.

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  4. Hey Tim you never returned my double sided dildo and ball gag... what gives? Don't make me call your moms house again

    ReplyDelete
  5. YOU CAN EARN UP TO .68 CENTS PER MONTH OPERATING A HIGH CLASS BLOG LIKE CNR FROM HOME! GRADUATE FROM UNIVERSITY OF PHOENIX LIKE TIM AND YOU'RE ALREADY ON YOUR WAY.!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Damn, wifey never lets me out often enough to suck black dick at the library anymore

    ReplyDelete

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