Citing police dispatch reports, around 10:30 p.m., a citizen dialed 911 after witnessing an attempted armed robbery on the 4900 block of North Sheridan Road, near Sheridan and Argyle, about half a block north of Buttercup Park.
The initial report indicated two black males with dark complexions tried to take a victim’s cell phone.
An investigating officer said two black males in their 20s, both with braided hair, approached the victim and displayed a gun.
It’s unclear why the robbers left without the phone… but we’re sure they’ll rob someone before the night is through.
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No, actually, here's what happened. The two black guys tried to get the cell phone to call the cops because a bunch of white guys had just robbed them. I know this because a wino told a prostitute who told a street vender who told a drug dealer who told a chainsaw murderer who told a newspaper boy who told a blind and deaf mute who told me.
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Keep breakin' my jaw