Written by Timothy Fitz --- A certain Chicago street preacher, who frequently targets gays in his religious rants, is about as straight as kinky hair in mid July.
Way back in the 80s, I personally witnessed this so-called man of god doing the lord's work in a downtown Chicago alley -- on his knees.
The preacher-man picked up a young boy at a video game arcade store called Treasure Chest; which used to be located on Randolph Street, west of State Street.
The kid, about 17 or 18-years-old, was ushered into a nearby gangway, where the preacher quickly gobbled him up like the last supper.
To make it easier on his then middle-aged knees, the preacher used his bible in lieu of knee-pads.
Several weeks after the preacher's not-so private oral church service, I was walking down State Street when I heard the preacher bashing a group of flamboyant queens.
Being the loudmouthed, confrontational asshole that I am, I immediately called the preacher on his hypocrisy.
"Why don't you tell these people about the last time you gave someone head in an alley," I said at the top of lungs.
Obviously, my question hit home, because the man of god immediately turned off his bullhorn and hightailed his ass outta there!
In fact, if it weren't for his dark as quicksand complexion, the preacher's face would have been as red as a white submissive bottom's freshly spanked behind.
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well wow.
ReplyDeleteYes. Too bad they didn't have cell phone with cameras, back then. :-)
ReplyDeleteHe looks like his is going to suck that microphone!!!
ReplyDeleteWe need to flashmob this guy, I have some ideas as to what we're going to do.
ReplyDeleteIf you're talking about a flash mob of the non-ghetto-variety, please videotape it! That would make my day! No! My Year!
ReplyDeleteI dress up as Satan, and a girl dresses up as Jesus. We do a elaborate dance to Yella's a "Cause de Garcons" culminating in us making out, lighting up some cigarettes and pretending to dry hump.
ReplyDeleteOh, god! That's hilarious!
ReplyDeleteHow many years has this crazy fucker been harassing passersby on a street corner? Shouldn't he be at work? How does he pay his bills???
ReplyDeleteHis wife supports him as far as I know.
ReplyDeleteThis guy is hilarious, I've been seeing him on that corner of State Street by Old Navy in the loop for years, telling people with his microphone the various reasons they are going to hell.
ReplyDeleteI've never stopped to speak with him, or even take his pamphlets, but at least once/week, I see some idiot amateur filmmaker trying to record him as they ask him questions or yell at him. Basically, at least once per week I see go down this type of "interview."
The funny thing is, every time the guy with a camera is some loser with a beard, shaggy hair, looking like a wannabe dirty pseudo hippy. Or looking like he just came back from "occupying" something.
Guess what, people who think they're exposing this guy with their little interviews - you're not! You're wasting your life just like the preacher is. You aren't asking him any question that hasn't been asked to him hundreds of times before. You can put your video up on YouTube & talk about how bad the preacher is, but at the end of the day, you're as big a loser as he is.
I usually stop, raise my arms to the sky and yell "Hail Satan!" when I pass him.
ReplyDeleteI know I'm going to Hell, I just want to make sure I have a job when I get there.
I had a run in with this guy on the same corner. I simply went up to him, put my arm on his shoulder and whispered in his ear " Jesus also said judge that ye be not judged" shut him right up..LOL
ReplyDeletedafuck? lmao
ReplyDeleteSo, how did the story about point a finger in somebodys face get SO much attention today? Was that related to the Everyblock raid? They seem like the same sort of morons, but there are TONS of them...
ReplyDeleteAnyone else not surprised those people had time to do that during working hours on a weekday???
(a follow up story with some info on how that happened would be great)
What's with this alley sex thing in Chicago? It's like a right of passage or something here. They still brag, to this day, on who/what they did in the alley....gay/white/black whatever.
ReplyDeleteI don't cut through alleys for safety purposes so I've never witnessed this stuff but even if I wanted to get my groove on outside, I wouldn't do it in an alley.
Dogs. Really.
Yeah that alley sex shit is nasty. I'm straight & don't really know anybody here in the gay scene, but is this really as prevalent as it sounds?
ReplyDeleteIts disgusting. I don't care who fucks who, but don't do it in public. Not only is it nasty for some innocent person to stumble onto, but common sense says that someone who is willing to fuck you in an alley immediately after meeting you is highly likely to have an STD or two.
Random Questioner: "What about if three guys are in one bathroom stall at McDonald's?"
ReplyDeleteStreet Preacher: "They goin' to Hell. Straight to Hell. Do not pass go... Do not collect $200...HE Double L"
I don't recall anything about Internet porn or cigarettes being in the Bible?
ReplyDeleteToday this dude got knocked out. I work on the block and he tells me I'm doomed twice daily. pic here http://instagram.com/p/oRpQF9SPXM/
ReplyDelete